68 Intricacies
by Violet Abilene
Summary: 68 one-shots based on the intricate relationship that Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye have. Chapter 13: Ego. Whether or not Roy had an alter ego was a mystery to Riza Hawkeye.
1. Ants

**AN: I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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Ants are small creatures that, upon first glance, don't seem like much. They are small, considered to be bothersome by most, and appear to be very weak. It's a mystery of nature why there are so many of them; they don't appear to do anything that warrants the need of their population numbers. Most don't think about ants in their everyday lives and most don't notice their existence.

It was most likely for that reason that, at fourteen years old, Riza Hawkeye considered herself to be one.

Riza, in both height and weight, was small, more so than most girls her age. She didn't have enough fingers on her hand or toes on her feet to count the number of times she would be called a bother or some variation of the word by her father. While Riza wasn't an ant when it came to population, it was true that most didn't think about her or acknowledge her much (if the word "most" is used to refer to her father, that is). Yes, almost every part about an ant (and, by comparison, Riza) that people assumed was the truth from just its appearance was just that: the truth. If there is, however, anything that is deceitful about an ant's appearance, that would have to be its strength. While ants appear to be very weak, they are actually capable of carrying things that weigh twice as much as they do or even more. That amount of strength could also be said of Riza internally. While she wasn't the strongest physically (she attributed that to her small size), she liked to think that she was perhaps a bit more resilient or thick-skinned than most people her age. That was, she thought, the only good thing about her home life; you grow a tough skin when you practically have to fend for yourself.

There was one last thing that Riza and ants have in common. This last similarity, while far fetched upon first hearing it, is the most important one in Riza's view. Even if Riza wasn't so small, useless and forgettable, this last shared trait would still be there.

It's the fact that both ants and Riza carry heavy burdens on their backs.

For ants, that's how they carry the small crumbs of food they find. They get them on their backs (how they manage that is a mystery Riza will probably never know) and crawl along their path back to their ant hill. For ants, it's in their nature, an action that is put into their brains and instincts to do from the time they're born. Riza, however, wasn't born to carry her burden. Unlike the ant, Riza went through the first decade of her life without knowing how to carry something so much heavier than her. Then, one day, the same man who had called her bothersome, the same man who hadn't had a use for her, suddenly found her to be of some worth.

At eleven years old, Riza had, to her father, the same amount of worth as paper.

Her father had basically branded her, marring her back with a tattoo made of red ink, bits of Riza's dried blood that had sprouted during the excruciating process, and secrets. It seemed the latter was the part that made the completely weightless tattoo feel like it weighed a thousand pounds. The secrets were her burden and, for a time, she considered ants lucky. At least ants had someone to help them when their load became too heavy for just themselves to carry (which, now that the young girl thought about it, could be the reason why there were so many of them). Riza had nobody.

That is, until Roy Mustang came into the picture.

When he came along only six months after she was given the tattoo, she found that, as she got to know him, she wouldn't mind giving him the secrets to flame alchemy one day. She trusted him and knew that he wouldn't do anything terrible with them. He often told her of the things he wanted to do, how he wanted to go into the military one day and use alchemy in that pursuit. With each explanation of his dreams, Riza found that her burden was slowly becoming lighter. Unbeknownst to him, Roy was helping Riza carry the secrets on her back. It seemed, finally, that Riza had another ant to help her, which relieved her. It relieved her because she was afraid that, had someone else not have come along to help her, she would be crushed by the weight of her particular burden.

Mostly, though, she was relieved that it was Roy helping her with the heft of secrets the array brought with it. She knew that he would never let the details of it, which had caused her pain, be used to cause anyone else pain.

Of that much, Riza was certain.

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**Reviews would be much appreciated! This is the first chapter of a new project of mine, so stay tuned if you're interested!**


	2. Blinded

**AN: I do not own FMA. Also, this takes place after the Promised Day but before Roy makes the deal with Dr. Marco to get his sight back, which is the reason why I make some of the references I do in this chapter. Anyways, Enjoy!**

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It never ceased to amaze Roy Mustang just how calm things can be after a catastrophe.

Take this night, for example. This was the night after the Promised Day, an event that was undoubtedly one of the most hellish experiences Roy had ever gone through. Despite all of the terror and bloodshed that daylight had brought, it was with the arrival of night that a strange, nearly peaceful feeling was gained. It was a deceptive type of peace, however, a peace that suggested that the entire day had been just like the night, that everything had been right with the world on this day.

Roy knew that wasn't the case. The day hadn't been peaceful at all. He had the eternal dark clouding his vision to prove it.

The memories of how he had ended up that way are still scarily vivid in his mind. He remembers being placed upon the transmutation circle by Pride and Wrath, the blue light working in a frenzy around him, the utter pain that shot through his body. He remembers that stark white place, that white figure with the large, macabre smile. He remembers the doorway behind this figure, a pattern etched onto it that Roy had seen before, for the same pattern was etched on the skin of the one person he holds the closest to him, the one person he can't afford to lose. Then, he remembers being pushed into the darkness that was still holding him captive. These memories, though, weren't the only ones that made his heart rate increase and made him nearly sick with re-imagined worry.

The other memories from this day are that of what happened to Riza Hawkeye.

He remembers seeing her fall after her neck was slit, her ruby blood spilling onto the floor. He remembers her eyes, strong and determined to send him an unspoken message but also dull and fragile, like she was barely hanging onto her consciousness. He remembers his thoughts as he ran to her, worry and panic mixing together perfectly.

_'Please, don't die, Riza, please still be alive. You can't leave before I do, I __**need **__you, don't you know that? Please please __**PLEASE **__stay with me!'_

He remembers the flood of pure relief that filled his chest as he held Riza in his arms, burying his face in her hair before thanking May Chang for performing the alkahestry that had saved Riza's life. What he remembers the clearest is her voice after she had opened her eyes.

_"You understood my eye signals. I don't know how you did...but I'm glad."_

He remembers this because of what he had _wanted_ to say to her in reply, what response his mind had already formed.

_'Of course I understood them, Riza. I love you, after all.'_

He couldn't say that, though. Not now, not here. Instead, he went for the other response he had formed, one that was also true and one that he could say in that situation.

_"We've been together a long time. I know that glare. It means 'Use human transmutation and I'll shoot you.'"_

Roy smiled slightly as this memory. That was the one that always brought him back to reality, the one that reminded him that Riza was OK, that she was in the same hospital room as him, sleeping in a bed not too far away from his own.

The one thing about remembering these events, however, is that it only enhanced Roy's desire to see her again. If, by some miracle, he was given the opportunity to regain his sight, he would jump at it. It wouldn't just be for his own selfish desires, of course; even with the Hawk's Eyes to help him, he couldn't be a very effective leader if he was blind. Still, he'd be the first to admit that the chance to once again see Riza's warm, rare smiles, to see her beautiful, kind eyes, to just see her beauty in general, would be one of his top motives to regaining his sight.

Roy sighed quietly, hoping his sudden sound wouldn't wake Riza from the sleep she needed. He knew that the strength of his desire would fade over time. It most likely would never fully go away, no matter how well-adjusted he got to being without his sight, but it wouldn't be so heavy on his mind as it was now. That didn't stop him, however, from feeling just the slightest bit defeated about it now, while he was still thinking about it.

That was the thing about being blinded: in order to make new memories, you have to rely heavily on the older ones.

Unfortunately for Roy, many of his older memories are of things he'd much rather forget.

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**AN: This chapter really broke my heart to write. It's just...ALL HE WANTS IS TO SEE HER AGAIN. ;.;**

**Second verse, same as the first: Reviews would be liked!**


	3. Broken

**AN: I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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You could call Roy and Riza many things. You could call them killers (that was the harsh truth), sinners (that was the opinion of those with faith), liars (that was only occasionally true), lovers (that was something that no could ever know was true) or dogs of the military (that was obvious), to name a few choices. There was one thing you couldn't call them, though.

What you couldn't call Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye was broken.

They were not broken, not by any means. Yes, they were shaken, bruised, battered, bent and stretched to their absolute limits but neither one was broken. While there had been many points when they thought they would crash and shatter into many painful little pieces with awful slivers attached, it never seemed to happen. You could say the reason was because of their pride or their absolute will not to break. Really, though, the strength they had to have to remain whole didn't come from something as potentially dangerous as pride or even from their own will (for they discovered long ago that not even that was able to keep them from coming undone). It came from some other place, a much more secret place and, while not all of their strength was harbored in this secret place, there is enough strength kept there in case the supply Roy and Riza do have in their own selves starts to dwindle.

The hiding place that strength chose was in the other person.

Roy had half of Riza's strength and Riza, half of Roy's. Whether they know it or not, whenever the two are together, they are taking hold of a small part of the foraged strength. They hold onto it with a desperate grip, hoping that they never let it go or that it never slips from their hands. They know exactly what'll happen if those pure and perfect reservoirs ever do fall onto the ground.

Like all fragile things, it'll break.

They'll never let that happen, though. Like Roy can't afford to lose Riza, neither of them can afford to lose that strength. To lose that strength would only bring about dire consequences, consequences that neither of them want to think about. With that in mind, with those terrible, gut-wrenching consequences in mind, they hold onto the containers, desperate to hold them but also wary of its fragile nature. For Roy and Riza, delving into that strength a little bit at a time is a matter of survival. It's a way for them to know that they're not alone in all that weighs them down inside their heads and a way for them to live with themselves for a few moments. It's a matter of keeping each other here on Earth and still a part of life.

After all, the only way that Roy and Riza could ever be considered broken is if one of them goes before the other.

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**AN: *Groans* I really wanted to have a stronger ending for this chapter, especially after all the time I've spent on this one! Seriously, you have no idea how much this story kicked my butt these past two weeks. Regardless, I hope you liked it! Review, if you desire!**


	4. Burn

**AN: I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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To say that Roy regretted burning Riza's back was an understatement. He not only regretted it but just the thought of what he did, the screams of pain that he made rip from Riza's mouth, the skin that he had made bleed angry red blood, made him sick. The fact that he had done it in Ishval, a place that had already seen enough of his flames, did absolutely nothing to assuage his guilt; if anything, it only aggravated it.

When he really thought about it, Roy knew that what made him regret that night wasn't the fact that he had burned the array. That pattern, and the things that it held, was something that mankind would be better off without, even if its destruction had come one Flame Alchemist too late. No, what made him regret that night, one of his final ones in Ishval, was the fact that, in order for its undoing to happen, he'd have to burn the person that, as a teenager, he had fallen in love with and promised to protect.

Both of them knew it was going to hurt; to think otherwise would be naïve. Still, whenever the first flame hit Riza's skin and her agonized screams began, Roy was still startled by it. It wasn't so much the fact that she did scream as much as it was the fact that, suddenly, the idea was now a painful reality: Roy Mustang had hurt Riza Hawkeye.

His thoughts, wicked in that way one's own thoughts can be, suddenly reminded him of all that he'd just done as he tended to Riza's wounds, determined to uphold his promise somehow.

'You've really done it this time. She's going to have more scars eventually, Roy. All of these wounds you're trying to patch up are going to mark her again. This time, though, you won't be able to erase them. It'll just be marks on top of marks, scars she'll always have. She'll practically be wearing the evidence of what you did.'

It wasn't until a few hours later, when those thoughts and more had swum around his head for as long as he would let them, that he finally disclosed what he had been thinking to Riza in the form of apologies. He was sorry to have done it in the first place, sorry he put her in so much pain, sorry that she was going to have scars and marks and there was pretty much nothing he could do about it, sorry that he broke so many promises that he still wanted to keep to her, even now. He probably would've gone on until sunrise if Riza hadn't cut him off.

"Roy," she began, her voice hoarse. "I want you to remember two things. First of all, this...this was my decision. I wanted you to do this, so you have nothing to apologize to me for. The other thing you need to remember is that...whenever my father put these secrets on my back, I, or at least that part of me...was pretty much paper to him at that point. And usually, paper that holds terrible secrets almost always ends up getting burned."

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**AN: Review, please! Next time, we'll start on the "C" prompts!**


	5. Care

**This chapter is dedicated to miss Eleanor (AKA Dobby-Joey-Potter-Neko-Chan and egranger), whose awesome encouragement and helpful ideas and advice have helped me through many a tough chapter. I love you, girl, and I'm always glad we started talking!**

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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Having nightmares was something that, by the time he was fifteen years old, Roy Mustang had become accustomed to. They never ceased to scare him nearly half to death and he would almost always lose sleep over them but they had long since stopped being a surprise. He'd been having them since he was seven, the first one occurring shortly after his parents had been brutally killed right before his eyes. That nightmare would be one that he had a lot, a gruesome tale that never failed to frighten him beyond belief. The nightmares, Roy would realize as he got older, were shape-shifters. They could take anybody he had or did care about and put them through systematic torture. They would injure them, make them bleed like his parents had bled. If the nightmares were feeling especially cruel, they would kill them. The terrors seemed to follow one rule and one rule only: the only people who die in Roy's dreams are the ones he cares about the most.

If he were to follow that logic, then, it shouldn't have surprised Roy when, two years into his apprenticeship with Berthold Hawkeye, one of his nightmares featured his teacher's daughter, Riza. He had, after all, begun to care about her (although how deeply he did wasn't something he realized until the night he had the nightmare). The rules of his nightmares stated that she was to die inside his mind, whether Roy was ready to dream about it or not.

He'd never be ready for it, though. Nothing could have prepared him for what the nightmares wanted to do with Riza.

OOO

_Riza's missing._

_That's all Roy knows as he runs through the small forest that's situated near the Hawkeye household. He's been looking for her, calling her name and then falling silent as he waits for a reply, panic rising further in his chest when he receives no answer, not one sound to let him know Riza's whereabouts. He continues to tear through the forest, desperate to find her, desperate to see her alive. Finally, he sees something in the distance, a vague shape with white and gold almost radiating off of it in the dim light the stars and moon provide. He gets closer and his stomach drops when he sees that it's her, lying in a pool of her own blood. Thick stab wounds pierce her skin and dress, a white garment that Roy had often seen Riza wear. Her hair, golden blonde and shoulder length, is practically soaked with blood. Her eyes are shut, topping off just how hopeless her situation looks._

_He gathers her into his arms, fear making his blood pump fast and painfully hard through his body._

_"Riza...Riza, please, open your eyes!" Roy implores in a shaking voice. "You're gonna be OK, you're gonna be just fine if you just open your eyes! Please, Riza, I can't lose you! I can't! Don't you leave me, don't you _dare _leave me, Riza! Please, open your eyes!" His pleas break off with a sob as he finally registers that Riza _isn't coming back_, that she's dead and there's nothing that he can do about it. It's not enough that she's dead. No, Roy has to feel so utterly _useless _about it because, damn it, maybe he _could've _done something, maybe he _could've _saved her, maybe-_

The nightmare suddenly dissolves when Roy is shaken awake. His eyes dart to his side and he sees her, a hand on his shoulder and a concerned look on her face. For a while, Roy just stares at her, taking in her hair, still golden blonde but graciously lacking blood, the nightgown that looks too much like the dress from the nightmare for comfort and her eyes, _especially_ her eyes, two gleaming brown orbs that just wouldn't open a short time ago. Finally, Roy blinks and his gaze on her is broken, a slight embarrassment at his staring going through him. A moment later, he takes her hand, still resting on his shoulder, and brings her next to him, her head resting perfectly in the hollow of his neck. They are both silent for a few moments, Roy too busy taking in the comfort that Riza's soft breathing against his skin provided and Riza still trying to process the last few moments. It's Roy who finally breaks the silence, vocalizing words that he'd just spoken inside the fears of his own mind.

"I can't lose you, Riza. I can't _afford_ to lose you."

Riza is surprised by his words but doesn't hesitate to reply.

"You're not gonna lose me. I'm OK...and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

The two stay like this for the rest of the night, Riza's hand still in Roy's while his other arm is draped loosely around her waist, the small amount of contact enough to reassure Roy that she's still there, that she's still safe and alive.

Roy doesn't know that, in fourteen years, he'll be saying those words again. He'll say those words again in a reality that very well should've been nightmare, not too long after he almost loses himself to a powerful creature called "rage" but shortly before the nightmare of that night very nearly came completely true. He doesn't know and neither does she, so the words remain only two things for now: As utterances of love's first unknown, unsure steps and as the simple realization that Roy Mustang cares for Riza Hawkeye a bit more than he should.

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**AN: I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THIS CHAPTER FOR TWO DAYS AND IT IS FINALLY TYPED UP. HOORAY! Hooray for young Royai, as well! Like I've said before, reviews are very much liked and appreciated!**


	6. Cold

**AN: I do not own FMA. Enjoy another Young Royai chapter!**

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"You know, Riza, you don't have to stay up with me. You can go to bed if you want."

This wasn't the first time that Roy had said that to his master's daughter. For the past few nights, Riza had been coming into his room while he either worked or studied, at first claiming that it was because of insomnia but later admitting that she did it out of her own desire to keep him company. While he appreciated her presence and how inexplicably calming he found it could be to him, he couldn't help but he concerned over Riza's sleep schedule. She'd often come into his room at around ten or so and not leave until Roy either went to bed or finished assignments, which could be anywhere from two to four in the morning. Riza was younger than him (only by a year and a half but, to Roy, that still counted for something) and needed her sleep, which is why he'd remind her of her non-mandatory attendance. This night, the sixth she'd spent with him, was no different. Roy hoped, though, that she'd listen to him this time and choose to get more than five hours of sleep.

Just like the first five nights, however, Riza was set to stay with him.

"Mister Mustang, if you say that one more time, I'm going to start thinking you don't want me around. I've told you before, this is what I want. It's not a job to me or something I think is mandatory. It's something I like doing. Even overconfident boys like you must get lonely sometimes, working in the dead of the night on alchemy. I figured you could use some company," Riza replied from her place at the large leather chair in the corner of the room, a chair that had become her go-to spot in Roy's room. She pulled her knees to her chest and gave him a small smile, a hint of amusement in her eyes.

"Besides," she added, nodding at the papers on Roy's small desk, "I think you have more important things to worry about right now."

Roy gave her a wary look at the mention of assignments but turned around back to his desk, picking up his pencil. A few minutes later, he put the pencil down and spoke again.

"You know, Riza-"

"Work."

Her tone indicated that not only would she not entertain Roy's suggestion, he definitely would not be the winner of this argument tonight. With a small chuckle at Riza's blunt tone, Roy picked up his pencil again and returned to his work.

At around midnight, Roy noticed that Riza's breathing, which usually mingled perfectly with the soft ticking of the clock and the scratching of Roy's pencil, had changed, becoming deeper and more even. Suspecting that her possible lack of sleep had finally caught up with her, Roy turned around and saw that Riza had indeed fallen asleep. Her body was now in a more relaxed position than before, with her legs dangling over the end of the chair, her arms slack at her sides and her head resting against the back of the chair. Roy smiled at the peaceful expression on her face. He contemplated carrying her to bed but, after a few minutes' internal debate, he decided to let her be, mostly out of worry that moving her around might wake her up. His smile fell slightly when he saw her shiver, causing Roy to remember that the temperature was supposed to drop that night and the house, especially his room, wasn't the best insulated. He found a blanket that had been laying in a heap on the floor and wrapped Riza up in it, moving her ever so slightly to get it to cover her shoulders and body completely.

She stirred and Roy froze for a moment, relaxing only when Riza, instead of waking, curled herself up inside the blanket, subconsciously recognizing the warmth the blanket gave her. Roy kissed the top of her head and, after directing another soft smile towards Riza, he sat back down at his desk, returning to his work. In the morning, she'd wake up and inquire about the blanket. In reply, Roy would say this.

"It was cold outside last night, Riza. You know how drafty this house can get. If I hadn't covered you up, you might have gotten sick. I can't have my only company catching a cold."

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**AN: Hello again, everyone! Yes, I know I had two young Royai chapters in a row but, honestly, I love it. I think I'm finally starting to get the hang of writing young Royai, which I'm grateful for! Something you might have noticed is that I didn't specify how old they were in this chapter like I usually do in any young Royai I write; I really just wanted to give you a moment between them and let you interpret how old you think they were when it happened. That's really all I gotta say about this chapter so, yeah, I'll see you guys next chapter! (PS: I'm sorry I couldn't really stick to the prompt! It just kind of...ran away from me).**

**Like always, reviews would be a good thing to leave!**


	7. Collapse

**AN: I realized not too long ago that I've been denying you guys Riza chapters since "Ants". I think it's time I change that. Once again, I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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For as long as Riza could remember, she's had a wall. This wall, existing only inside her and her mind, has served as a way to keep two important things separate: her emotions and her actions. She couldn't allow herself to get emotional over anything she did (although even that rule would sometimes fail to be followed, for sometimes this wall couldn't stop a flood of true emotion once Riza was alone) and she certainly couldn't let her emotions get the best of her and dictate her actions (that was a rule that _had _to be followed; too many people depended on her for her to let emotions cloud her judgement). She thought this wall was strong. She thought it would never collapse.

That was before she learned how weak her wall could really be.

That was before she was told that Roy Mustang was dead.

At first, Riza didn't- couldn't- believe it. The defense mechanism commonly known as "denial" was working in overdrive, trying its best to make the undertone of Lust's words sound impossible, trying its best to convince Riza that she was lying.

It didn't work. In that moment, Riza couldn't count on denial. Maybe she had been able to in her adolescence, trying to deny her real feelings for her father's student and trying to deny that she really was killing innocent people in Ishval (the latter was a short kind of denial, because being a killer is something that only the truly delusional can deny), but she couldn't now.

To put it bluntly, denial was useless to her now.

So, it's really no wonder that the realization of this, coupled with the sinister smile of the Homunculi and the realization of its connotation hitting her square in the gut, caused Riza's wall to collapse. When that happened, she wasn't exactly herself anymore. She had become her emotions, those intangible things somehow controlling her actions.

It was her anger that repeatedly pulled the trigger, causing bullet after bullet to pierce the skin of the wicked monster that had done this, that had taken Roy and his vision from the world and caused Riza's senses to collapse with her wall. It was her anger that pushed the scream out of her mouth, loud and primal, desperate and so utterly _furious_ that Riza was surprised she wasn't seeing red. It was her sorrow that brought her to her knees, tears streaming down her face as she finally was allowed to grieve, knowing in the back of her mind that she would soon meet the same fate as the man she was supposed to protect. It was that overwhelming sense of hopelessness that made her give up, that would have been the ultimate reason for her death...but then, a miracle happened. Roy appeared, not as a memory or a specter but as a person, a still living, still breathing person. That was when she pulled herself together and became herself again. That's when her wall started rebuilding.

Anytime she thinks about it now, it scares her. That wall, for all intents and purposes, was the thing keeping her sane. It was the only thing keeping her from being consumed by what would be, in some situations, violent emotions...and it had fallen as easily as a house of cards falls in a strong wind. It had collapsed with pure ease because she'd been told Roy Mustang was dead.

The way Riza figured, this meant one of two things: either her wall wasn't as strong as she thought or, when it came to the colonel, there's a part of her that would always be weak.

She had to hope that the latter wasn't true.

Riza knows she can't afford to experience another collapse.

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**AN: Bet you didn't expect another chapter so soon, huh? Guess I'm full of surprises! So, after two cute chapters in a row, I figured I had to put some sad in here to kind of even it out. On the plus side, like I mentioned above, it's the first Riza chapter since "Ants", so hooray for that! Pretty all I gotta say so I'll be seeing you guys next chapter!**

**PS. I'd love some reviews! I wanna hear how you guys are liking the one-shots so far! Or maybe not liking. I don't know.**


	8. Crimson

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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The first time Roy ever thought of Riza as beautiful, it was because of a crimson hair ribbon.

When they came across this ribbon, Roy was sixteen and Riza had just turned fifteen. The two of them had been straightening up her room as part of spring cleaning when Roy found a small wooden box that, judging by its light weight, seemed not to be holding much or anything at all. Still curious about it, however, he asked Riza just what, if anything, the box held and, after a quick inspection of it, she told him that it had been her mother's, one of the few things that had belonged to her that Riza still had around.

"After she died, father got rid of a lot of her things. I think it was because he didn't want any more reminders of mom around the house. After all, _I'm _probably the biggest reminder of her that he has. The only reason why I still have this is because my mom had given this to me a few months before she died," Riza explained.

When she opened the box, Roy discovered that it only contained three things: A single photo of Riza's mother that, due to time and its place in the container, had already started fading, a pair of earrings that, according to Riza, her mom had told her to wear on her wedding day and the aforementioned crimson ribbon. Riza seemed especially fond of the ribbon, as she wrapped it around her fingers for a few moments with the smallest, softest smile on her face before reaching behind her head and, after some help from Roy, using the ribbon to pull her hair up into a high ponytail. When she turned to face him again, Roy couldn't help but notice, not for the first time, how much easier it was to see how pretty his teacher's daughter was when she put her hair back. It was the first time, however, that he didn't just consider her "pretty", as he had a few times before. This time, the word "beautiful" crossed his mind, a word that he hadn't associated with Riza until that day. That night, he spent a considerable amount of time trying to figure out why he thought this, why he suddenly thought this about her. After a while, he finally gave up, deciding that the answer could be found another day.

What he didn't know was that, soon, he would realize why he had thought that.

What he didn't know was that he was already beginning to fall in love with Riza Hawkeye.

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**AN: And after over a month of no updates, I am back and ready to continue on with the updates! Yeah, I'm really sorry this hasn't updated in so long; I not only had the last few weeks of school to deal with, I also was busy all last week with writing fics for Royai Week. I missed this story a whole lot, though, and I thank everyone who hasn't given up on it in the month long absence! Reviews would be liked ****immensely!**


	9. Cruel

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

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"Riza!"

Eleven year old Riza Hawkeye jumped as her father's bellow resonated through the house, his impatient tone making just the slightest bit of fear settle into the pit of Riza's stomach. It was hard for Riza to believe that there had been a time when she didn't associate her father's room with bad memories, when being called in there didn't mean being the victim of her father's vituperation. Now, it seemed that the only time he ever paid her any mind was when he was yelling at her for things that she may or may not have done. Riza hurriedly left her room and started the short walk to her father's room, trying to think of anything she might've done that would warrant his aggresive tone and volume. Running her activities over twice and finding nothing, Riza took a deep breath and walked into his room, closing the door quietly behind her with a slightly shaking hand.

Surprisingly, Riza didn't find her father hunched over his desk, scribbling onto one of his many pieces of paper. Instead, she found him standing near a small work bench that, while it had once had pots of ink and other miscellaneous items stacked and stored on top of it, was now cleared off, something that raised the young girl's suspiscions. He gave her a faint smile and spoke again, this time in a softer, yet still commanding, tone.

"Come over here, Riza."

Hesitantly, Riza walked toward her father, the small smile adorning his features unsetteling her in a way that she didn't understand until she was older (when she realized that his smile had been full of greed and a lust for his research and not out of geniune happiness to have his daughter near). When she got close enough to him, he crouched so that they were eyelevel, his eyes awash with expectancy.

"Riza," he began, his tone serious. "In my research, I've discovered a few things...things that, once I find the right person, will be the keys to making the Flame Alchemist who they'll eventually be. However, these things also have the potential to be dangerous, should they fall into the wrong hands. I can't take the risk of storing them like traditional notes, since those can easily get misplaced. That, my dear, is where you come in. I need your help in protecting these discoveries. While it won't be easy for you to be the keeper of these secrets, I know that you'll succeed in keeping them safe. So please, Riza...please safeguard this part of my work for me. You're the only one I trust enough to do this."

For a few moments, Riza said nothing, confusion making her thoughts unfocused. She wasn't sure _why_ her father was asking her to do this important sounding task for him so suddenly, nor did she really understand _how_ she was going to keep his research safe if he wasn't planning on copying them down and storing them in the traditional way, but she couldn't ignore the feeling of elation that was going through Riza's body as her father's words rang through her head.

_"I need your help in protecting these discoveries."_

_"...I know that you'll succeed in keeping them safe."_

_"You're the only one I trust enough to do this."_

_"You're the only one..."_

There was a part of Riza's mind that was screaming at her to say "no", begging her to deny her father and whatever kind of protection that he wanted her to give to these notes. It told her that she couldn't trust her father, at least not when it came to this part of his research. No matter how loudly this part of her brain told her to run, however, Riza knew that she couldn't do the things her mind was telling her to do. Her desire to finally be of some use to her father, even if it was as just the simple guardian of her father's research, was just too great for logic to win out in this battle. She was willing to take any consequences her choice may come with, no matter how small or large they might end up being. After all, it was going to be her responsibility once she gave her answer.

Riza hardened her resolve and, after another beat of silence, gave her answer.

"Alright. I'll do it."

* * *

"So. . . . .he tricked you. Your own father, because he was so eager to make sure his research would outlast him, tricked you, his only daughter, into keeping his secrets safe," eighteen year old Roy Mustang said as the two stood in seventeen year old Riza's room, her back, decorated with the array that held her father's secrets, bared and facing him. Roy could see her cringe slightly at his blunt statement before she spoke.

"I wouldn't call it tricking me so much as knowing what I wanted to hear. With all the times he called me useless, he must have known that I was chomping at the bit to help him by that point and that I'd agree to pretty much anything he asked of me, especially if it pertainted to his research. The thing is, though, is that I was the one who agreed to it. I knew that I could have been putting myself into a dangerous situation...and I promised him I'd protect his research, anyway. You can't blame my father completely, Roy."

"Why can't I?" Roy asked stubbornly, a dose of anger in his voice as he spoke. "Even if you _did _tell him that you were going to protect his secrets, you never could've known he'd give you a tattoo on your back, Riza! He never told you that, he never _really _gave you a choice! He told you what he wanted you to do and then made it impossible for you to say no! So, if he didn't trick you, than he manipulated you. Honestly, I don't know which one's worse!"

There was a stillness in the air as Roy finished his statement, his anger slowly dissolving into an acute sense of exasperation. he knew it wasn't doing anyone any good for him to be yelling at someone who, for the most part, was innocent in this whole thing. With a sigh, Roy sat down on the edge of Riza's bed and, after a moment, put his head in his hands. "Sorry about that. I'm not angry at you, Riza, I'm angry at your dad. Just. . . . how could he _do _that? How could he, knowing full well what he was going to do, act like you were just going to protect something trivial, and not basically protecting your whole live in order to protect the secrets on your back? It amazes me in the worst way possible."

"His mind wasn't exactly in the right place at the time, Roy," Riza replied softly, her tone matching Roy's. "Honestly, I think his mind had already started to deteriorate by the time he asked me."

There were a few moments of silence as Riza turned and quietly began put her blouse back on, Roy averting his eyes when she removed the shirt that had been covering her front. When she was done, Riza sat down next to him on her bed and sighed softly, a slight melancholy setteling into her body. She saw Roy's eyes drift to her's and give her a soft, yet sad, gaze.

"I'm sorry," Roy repeated, hoping that his true compassion and empathy for what Riza had been through, not just with the tattoo but with everything that had happened in the past day or so, showed in his words.

"It's OK," Riza said, her tone reassuring. "Father...while I want to believe that he wouldn't have done what he did had he been in his right mind, I have to face the fact that what he _did _do was cruel." Riza smiled sadly, her eyes downcast and beginning to brim with tears at the sudden memory of the whole process. "Shockingly, though, tattooing me wasn't the cruelest thing he's ever done."

"Then what was?" Roy asked.

Riza looked up at Roy, her eyes glassy. "The cruelest thing he ever did was tell me that getting a tattoo doesn't hurt."

* * *

**Yeah, not the shippiest chapter, I know, but I found that I couldn't put any major moments into this story like I wanted. So, as you may or may not have noticed, I tried a little something different with this chapter, in terms of telling the story. Still unsure if I'll ever write another chapter like this, but time will tell! I'll hopefully see you guys soon with the next chapter! Have a nice day!**

**-Violet.**


	10. Cuddle

**AN: I don't own FMA. Enjoy!**

* * *

Roy would haved loved to say that it was because of his own actions during the night that he woke up cuddling Riza Hawkeye that morning. In all honesty, though, his small couch was probably more responsible for their position than him.

How the two ended up at Roy's apartment is definitely the lesser of the two mysteries. They had just wrapped up a three night long stakeout on an allegedly crooked officer who had rumored ties to the Homunculus, a stakeout that ended with the duo gathering no evidence whatsoever that either of those claims were true. Despite the fact that Roy and Riza had managed to get a few hours sleep on their last night of the mission, they were still exhausted by the time they were finally able to walk home (despite their fatigue, Riza refused to let either of them drive due to her fear that whoever would end up at the wheel would fall asleep and cause an accident). Roy, because of _his _own fear that Riza might run into trouble on her way home and be fully unable to defend herself due to her weariness, had insisted that she sleep at his apartment and, after some hesitation, she agreed, simply too tired to really argue with him. It hadn't been long before they ended up on Roy's couch, the two of them somehow able to lie somewhat comfortably on their sides, despite the narrow couch.

At some point during the night, however, their position had changed. Now, Riza had her head resting on Roy's chest, her arms tucked into her chest while Roy, now on his back, had one arm draped around her waist in a protective embrace, his other hand resting gently on her visible shoulder. He smiled tiredly at the peaceful picture that a sleeping Riza made and tightened his grip on her slightly, deciding to give them both the day off to catch up on their sleep.

His sudden action caused Riza to stir and open her eyes halfway, a small groan escaping her lips at being woken up. She gazed at Roy drowsily, a slightly confused look in her eyes. Roy smiled softly at her and moved his hand downward until it came to rest on the locks of her hair that cascaded down her back. He started running his fingers through it, enjoying the feeling of her hair on his fingers.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Roy murmured apologetically. "You can go back to sleep. The only thing we need to do today is rest."

"Shouldn't we be getting ready for work, Roy?" Riza asked softly, her voice heavily weighed down with sleep.

"We can take a day to sleep, Riza," Roy mumbled in reply, fighting to keep his eyes open. "We won't be useful to anyone if we're exhausted."

Riza made a small sound of agreement and, after a few moments, Roy heard her breathing even out. Roy watched Riza fondly for a few moments before finally letting his own eyes close, a small but content smile on his face.

* * *

**Because sleepy Royai is the cutest Royai.**


	11. Dream

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

* * *

_Hey, Hawkeye. It's been a while since you've last heard from me, I know, but things have been a little busy lately. You probably already know this since word travels fast (in your case, that rings especially true) but I'm close. After all this time, I'm close to finally becoming Fuhrer of Amestris. It won't be long now, maybe only a year, if it all goes well. I've almost done it, Riza. I've almost fulfilled our dream._

_Yes, Riza, _our _dream. Maybe you don't remember (although something tells me that you do) but before I had dreams of making it to the top and leading this country, I dreamt of doing something less ambitious and more innocent. I dreamt of marrying you, Riza Hawkeye. I was still going to be in the military and still work towards a greater good, but I was going to do it with you by my side. I planned on coming back for you and marrying you. I wanted to give you that happy future you told me you wanted to believe in, the one that you wanted everyone to have._

_I didn't expect Ishval, though. I didn't expect to have that peaceful vision shattered by the bullets that rained during that war, to have it turned to ashes by my own flames. I also didn't expect to see you there, either. You know how much I beat myself up for that, Riza. I thought I'd brainwashed you into following me there, into fighting for that cause I'd spouted to you dozens of times just a few years before. It wasn't until you practically slapped me that I realized how idiotic I was for thinking that. You weren't some impressionable, gullible little girl. You were an intelligent young woman, easily smart enough to know all the dangers and risks war brought. You knew how easy it would be for you to be killed by anyone or anything. Yet, you followed me. It's because you did that I even made it out of Ishval and lived to tell the tale, that I didn't end up another number in the casualty census they took at the end of the war. It was because of you that my dream was able to change. I didn't just want to work for a greater good, no, I was going to end up _being _the greater good. I was going to lead the country and make sure that nothing like Ishval ever happened again. Even though I didn't think you would, Riza, I hoped that you would join me. This new dream, after all, still had an empty spot in it, one that only you could fill. I was ready to accept that you might not follow me this time, that one time was one too many if it meant anything even half as brutal as Ishval. That was the second time I underestimated you, Riza, because I'll be damned if you weren't standing in my office not even six months later, looking me dead in the eye and giving me a perfect salute. _

_Needless to say, I never underestimated you again._

_From that point on, you followed me. Together, we learned of the things once unknown to us, of Homunculi and chimeras, of what a man with a vision for his country has to lose, if only for a while, to learn the price of Truth. Never once did you stray from my side, even when I nearly strayed from my path, never once did you even think of leaving me behind (in fact, you blatently disregarded any orders I ever gave you that involved doing just that). You became and stayed my constant, so much so that I became more certain of your constant prescene than I did of the sun and whether or not it would rise the next day. You were always more than just my friend or my subordinate. You were my queen, my lovely, precious queen that I never wanted to give up._

_So imagine my agony when I finally had to._

_I've gone over that day too many times in my head, through both memories and dreams (funny how that word would now be used in such an agonizing way). One minute, the both of us were staring that killer down, the one we'd both been assigned to catch and had finally cornered, and the next minute, you were bleeding in my arms, two bullets in your chest that should have been in mine. I tried to get you to hold on, to try and stay alive until someone could help you, because there _had _to be another way this could play out, right? I'd never even given up my queen in a game of chess before, so how was I going to give up the one that truly mattered?_

_It was then that I was reminded how amazing you really are, Riza. With the last of your strength, you told me you loved me. You told me to keep going, because it would be a shame if I had come so far and then decided to just throw it all away. You knew I was still wavering because you looked me right in the eyes as best as you could and whispered your final words to me._

_"If for no other reason, Roy, please...do it for me."_

_You knew I'd do anything for you, Riza, so doing it for you is exactly what I've been doing. It's only been a year since that day but it feels like so much longer. There's not a day that goes by that I don't miss you terribly, that I don't wish I could have done more to save you. I'm not giving up, though. I'm going to make sure that your future comes true through me. Maybe we weren't able to have a future where we lived happily but I'll be damned if anyone else is deprived of that chance._

_I think I'll end this here, Riza. It's getting later and if I don't stop now, I won't get any sleep. So for now, good night, my love. I'll write again soon. I promise. In the meantime, say hello to Maes for me, will you?_

_- Roy._

* * *

**It is at this point that I want to express how sorry I am to follow up something as fluffy as "Cuddle" with something as melancholy as this. Also, this chapter marks the start of weekly updates of "68 Intricacies". Just plan on getting a new chapter every Thursday until I either can't keep up with it anymore or am having a particularly terrible bought of writer's block. Whichever comes first.**


	12. Dying

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

* * *

Riza Hawkeye has never feared dying. She assumes it's a symptom of the events of her life, from her mother dying when Riza was only seven (an event which forced her to come to terms with just how impermanent life really is at a younger age than most) to the many heinous things she did in Ishval (things that made the idea of her death not only more tangible and inevitable but also extremely justified), that made Riza become practically desensitized to death. One would think her fearlessness of the afterlife would make her reckless but it actually has the opposite effect, making her more cautious. After all, while she isn't afraid to die, she certainly doesn't want to face it before she has to.

If there is, however, an aspect of death that scares Riza to no end, it would be the possibility of her dying alone.

With her, the phrase doesn't mean that she is afraid of dying without ever having married someone. No, with her, it's meant to be taken just as it looks- she's afraid of dying by herself.

She knows it's a selfish fear for her to have, especially considering the fact that so many of the people she's killed in the past have died exactly like that. That fact is probably what bolsters her fear in the first place, another case of her mind punishing her for Ishval. It's her mind that periodically sends her back to those wargrounds while she's sleeping, the suffocating heat and sounds of war all around her. In these nightmares, it's never long before she's shot from behind, usually multiple times and always right in the chest. In these dreams, no one comes to her, no one finds her. She lies there by herself, watching her own blood pool around her, feeling the pain become greater and greater as each breath becomes more of a struggle. Only on her "lucky" nights does she wake up before her body gives out, her heart stopping and eyes glazing over. Most night, it's only after her imagined death that she wakes up with a jolt, her whole body trembling as she tries to catch her breath and wipe away the tears streaming down her face.

For years, both her fear and her nightmare were her secrets, things that she made sure no one knew about and no one saw. It wasn't until one night, a night she happened to spend with a certain Flame Alchemist, that her secret became known, if only by one other person.

It was during her nightmare that night that events deviated from the normal. Instead of hearing only the sounds of fighting and clamor around her, she heard a voice, _his _voice, calling out for her. She tried to stay alive for him, wanting so desperately for him to be the last thing she saw before she died and not just the sky above her. As his voice got closer, however, everything started to play out as normal, except this time the last thing she heard was Roy calling her name and not just the sounds of gunshots filling at air.

When she awoke with a start this time around, she found herself face to face with Roy, a concerned look on his face and a gentle hand on her shoulder. Slowly, she sat up, trying to calm her breathing. She felt Roy's arms wrap around her waist, gently pulling her up against his chest. The two sat in silence for a while, the only movement coming from Roy either wiping away a stray tear from Riza's cheek or softly kissing the back of her head. Finally, when Riza felt she had gotten herself under control, she turned around in Roy's arms, putting her hands on the back of his neck and giving him a short yet tender kiss.

"You OK?" Roy whispered when they broke apart, his tone holding the concern his eyes still head.

Riza nodded, giving him a small smile in an attempt to ease his apprehension.

"I'm OK. It was...just a nightmare. I'll be fine."

"Do you wanna talk about it? It might help you feel better."

After a moment of hesitation, Riza sighed, resting her head on the hollow of Roy's neck. His hands traveled from her waist to her back, rubbing it lightly to encourage her.

"It was about Ishval," Riza murmured. "I...I got shot. Normally, in those kinds of dreams, I just lie there...it's not until I die that I wake up but...you were there this time. I could hear you calling for me. I tried to stay alive but..." Riza's sentence broke off with a shaky breath, trying to keep herself calm from the memory of it. Roy's hand moved to her hair, stroking it gently to try and comfort her. After a moment, Riza spoke again, her voice stronger.

"Roy, can you please promise me something?"

"Of course."

"Just promise me that...if you can...you won't let me die by myself. It's selfish, I know, but...just the idea of it terrifies me."

Roy gave her a small kiss on the temple and slowly started to lay back down, taking her with him.

"I promise, Riza. Whenever that time comes, I promise you won't be alone. I'll be right there with you. I'll make sure of it."

"Thank you," Riza breathed, her nerves finally fully at ease for the first time since she woke up. She drowsily curled herself up on Roy's chest, her exhaustion finally hitting her full force. She was already half asleep when she heard Roy's voice again, soft and sweet.

"Don't worry, Riza. I don't plan on leaving you alone anytime soon. I'll always be right here."

Riza smiled when she felt a pair of lips on her forehead, her heart skipping a beat when she heard him murmur one last thing before falling back asleep.

"Until we get married, that promise will be our 'till death do us part'."

* * *

**I'm not sure if this is fluffy, sad, or both...just consider it a merging of the two common emotions from the last two chapters, I guess! Also, can someone please let me know if I'm using the correct form of "lie" and "lay" in this chapter? Thanks!**


	13. Ego

**I do not own FMA. Enjoy!**

* * *

A pure azure sky stretched out before her, the normally omnipresent clouds deciding to take a break for the day and let the sky show its true, uninterrupted beauty. The sun, characteristically still high in the sky at a quarter to one, did its job as a mid-June sun, beating down on anyone who might find themselves outside. This was truly the definition of a summer day, hot without being overly so or cancelling out how inviting and beautiful the weather was.

It was for days like this that, while she didn't always appreciate it about him, Riza could excuse Roy Mustang for having a slightly rebellious side about him.

Of course, that side of him could have easily have been brought out by the fact that Riza's father had decided to go out that day on business, telling them that he'd be back before dark and to "keep to themselves" (which, Riza knew by then, acted more as an order to the two of them to not get distracted or be distracting). For a few hours, they stuck to this rule pretty well, keeping themselves busy with their own individual duties. It wasn't until a little after lunch that Roy proposed that the two of them go out and enjoy the weather, if only for a little while. After some minor protests from Riza, she finally agreed to join him. They walked to the small hill that sat not too far away from the house and soon found themselves reclining side by side on it, observing the sky that extended out before them.

Riza couldn't stop the small smile that took on her features when she thought of the boy laying next to her, a reaction that had been happening lately when it came to Roy. Even though it had only been a year since he first arrived at her house, Riza was surprised at how friendly she'd gotten with Roy. Granted, she hadn't spoken many words to him the first few months he was there (this was mostly due to Riza's shy inclination) but once she did start talking to him and had really gotten to know him, she found his personality to be a pleasant surprise.

Yes, it seemed to Riza that Roy had ended up not being the person she thought he would be. Honestly, part of her quietness towards him had come from the fact that she was afraid, not at Roy himself, but of how he would treat her. The people in town generally thought very poorly of Riza and her father and made no bones about expressing this fact, so the young girl was convinced that her father's new student would feel the same way about her at least, since he seemed to look up to her father.

Surprisingly (but thankfully), Riza's expectations weren't fulfilled. Instead of looking down on her or dismissing her, it seemed Roy was actually making an effort with her, talking to her and getting to know her. Even when those attempts didn't work at first, he was still kind and amiable to her, only becoming more so when she started talking to him more.

Although she had appreciated his kindness, a part of Riza had worried that maybe it wasn't coming from a true place, that maybe (as farfetched as the idea was) it was an alter ego of Roy's being nice to her while his true self wanted nothing to do with her. As soon as this concern of hers popped up, however, it was quickly found to be false. She had realized that he did, indeed, really care about her when they had both been walking back from the market one day and Riza had tripped and scraped her knee. When Roy, who had been walking slightly ahead of her, saw what had happened, he had immediately went into action, helping her back up and leading her back into the house to treat the scrape. It had honestly shocked Riza, how much concern Roy had over and her minor injury. At the same time, however, she couldn't help but feel glad that her fears hadn't come true.

Riza's smile grew bigger at the memory. She turned her head to face Roy, who turned his own head to face Riza when he saw her move. He grinned back at her, a slightly softer version of his usually cocky grin.

"What's got you so happy?" Roy asked, his tone teasing.

Riza gave a small shrug (or at least the best shrug she could give while lying on her back). "Not much, really. Although...I want to thank you, Roy."

Roy raised his eyebrows, his grin faltering somewhat at the surprise of her comment.

"For what?"

"For being different. For just...always being kind, really. For being my friend."

Roy stared at her for a moment, seemingly surprised by her sudden confession. Gradually, his smile returned to its previous force, kindness now taking over his eyes as well.

"You're welcome, Riza. Thanks for being my friend, too."

Riza smiled wider and nodded. "You're welcome."

After a moment of smiling at each other, the two went back to looking at the sky above them, a content feeling washing over Riza as a breeze blew through.

Yes, Riza concluded, it was a very good thing indeed that Roy didn't have an alter ego.

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**Remember when I said I'd start updating weekly? Yeah, that obviously didn't work out too well. Regardless, I welcome the readers to the "E" prompts!**


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